The Iron Wall Between Us
by curligurl0896
Summary: Because sometimes it is necessary to do what is right, even at the cost of what is most precious to you. Two poems centered on a relationship sacrificed by the choices that have been made,
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know, I know, I know.**

 **"Curli, it's been over a year! A whole freaking year! WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?"**

 **And to that, I say, I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't know what to say, other than the fact that life got in the way, I lost motivation, et cetera. But I have been trying to write more recently, especially because I think it would help me a lot. Writing, as any writer knows, can be quite therapeutic.**

 **Anyway, now that that's out of the way... DID I JUST WRITE ROYAI?**

 **Just kidding. But seriously. EdWin might be my personal favorite (if you somehow haven't guessed that already), but I do also have an appreciation for these two as well. It's interesting how a lot of their relationship is left unsaid, and you have to kinda read between the lines to see it. That being said, I definitely wanted to write these two poems interpreting their relationship, and just why they do some of the things they do.**

 **For those of you who aren't already aware, there's another set of poems that I already have posted, the title is, "A World Away", feel free to go check it out, in fact I'd really appreciate it. For those of you who already know and in fact have already read it, it's pretty much the same idea, just for a different couple. This first poem is from Riza's POV, the second one is from Roy's.**

 **Also a quick thanks to DragonRedfox for reviewing A World Away and motivating me to write these next two poems.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Love and Duty (Riza Hawkeye)**

I would be lying if I said I never considered

If I said I never wondered

What if?

What would my life be like

If I hadn't chosen this path?

If I had never faced the agonizing realities of war,

If I had never carried upon my shoulders the weight of duty

If I had never stained my hands with human blood

Where would I have been?

But what ifs are useless,

Meaningless,

Because I can't change the past,

Because I have no desire to change the past,

And ultimately,

Ultimately

It's all because of _you._

You, with your charismatic smile and the obsidian fire in your eyes,

You, with your idealistic goals and the terrible power at your fingertips,

You, the only thing I have left worth fighting for

Worth _dying_ for,

And so, it's because of you that I'm in this position to begin with.

It's a difficult position, I must admit

Watching as you charm your way into the hearts of women

Watching as you smile and flirt and laugh

Knowing that I'm the only woman you will never look at

The only woman you will never have

But despite how much it hurts,

Despite how much it _kills,_

It is a burden I carry willingly

Because I know

I _know_

That what you want and what you need are vastly different.

You need someone who will protect you, instead of you needing to protect them

You need someone who will follow you into Hell and not just into your bed

You need someone who will fight for you

 _Push_ you

Every single step of the way

Until you're finally standing at the top

Finally able to make your dreams a reality

And I take pride in being able to say

That _I_ am that woman.

I am the woman that you _need_ , not the woman that you _want_

I am the one who will push you and fight for you

The one who will go to the ends of the earth for you

Who will live and breathe and _die_ for you

Continuously carrying this burden with me

Despite the iron wall that stands between us

And people may wonder

May ask

Why I chose duty instead of love

But it was _out of love_ that I chose duty

It was because you mean everything to me

That I made myself yours in a way that no woman ever would be

And regardless of what that means

Despite never being able to truly be with you

I know

That I would make the same choice a thousand times over

And I will never, _ever_ regret it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Break the Rules (Roy Mustang)**

Often times I wonder

I imagine

What life would be like if I hadn't made the choice I had

If _you_ hadn't made the choice you had

Where would we be?

But we both know without a doubt

That we made our choices willingly

We had our motives,

We knew the consequences

And still we did what we did

At the cost of our souls

Our sanity

Our relationship

 _None of it_ left untouched by the mass genocide our country called war

Because nothing is left sacred in the heart of a murderer

Not even one lauded as a hero

And even as I killed

Even as I _destroyed_

Like the obedient dog that I am

I was able to live through it

Able to accept it, even

But then I saw you

You, the quiet girl needing human affection

With eyes now hollow and dead

Making it clear that, like me, you willingly stained your soul

Willingly became as much a murderer as me,

And all for what?

A man who chained himself to the military,

Whose hands are stained not even with _blood,_ but with _ash,_

Who took the secrets you carried with you and turned them into a heinous weapon

Used to ruthlessly slaughter helpless, innocent lives?

Funny, how our choices have brought us closer together

Have created an unbreakable bond forged by the horrors of our past,

Yet at the same time it has drawn a line,

Created a _wall,_

Disallowing us from ever being together!

Funny how this bothers me

How it maddens me

Even more so than the weight of sin inside my heart

Because _just once_ would I like you to ignore the line

Just once I wish you would break the rules

No one even has to fucking know about it!

But that isn't enough to convince you, is it?

You were never one to break rules

And call me crazy, but it makes me want you even more

Makes me want to break the rules even more

Makes me want to _just give in_ even more

But I have no choice, do I?

And so here I am, stumbling on

Pursuing countless women to forget the one I can never have,

Waiting for a blissful reprieve from this torture

This insanity

Knowing full well that it'll never happen

Because you're _always right there,_

Always standing behind me

Always there to hold me accountable

Always there to make sure I never forget

And _you,_

You stubborn, infuriating, _wonderful_ woman you

Will be the death of me some day

In so many more ways than just one

And I?

I couldn't care less, to be honest

Because even if I fail

Even if things don't turn out quite right

If it meant I could be with you

 _Even then_

I would never, _ever_ regret it.

* * *

 **So... did you guys like it? If so, make sure to leave a review! Reviews make my day!**


End file.
